Thursday, July 28, 2016

You Never Know When a Decision Will Be Made

Over 18 months ago, I mentioned that Jared didn't want to get his learners license.  He didn't think is was safe to have him on the road.

Two nights ago, he told me he was ready.

It's time to study.

Friday, October 9, 2015

This Teen and His Cell Phone

I had to beg him to have one. He didn't see the point. He's learning how to use it. Now I know when he needs a ride from school or wherever. 

Thursday, January 1, 2015

Things Always Evolve

Back in August, I posted something I left in draft mode for about a year.  Some of the things that came after are worth noting.

I don't know who looks at this blog and why.  I don't always know if I should document Jared's  life in this way.  If it benefits anyone, great.

Jared did not like being touched in 2013.  He survived and thrived at youth dances.  He would dance with girls.  Slow dances were fine.

He also came home that fall and announced he wanted to join the wrestling team......because there is no physical contact there.  He didn't want to compete, but he wanted to learn to wrestle.  I freaked out behind his back for a bit, but we said yes in the end.  He worked so hard.  He trained the same as all the others.  He was in the best shape he'd ever been in.

I asked him why he didn't mind the wrestling or the dancing when he was required to have physical contact.  His reply?  "Mom, there's a purpose in it.  I can touch other people if there's a purpose."  So I asked him why he didn't like hugging me.  "Mom, there's no purpose in that."

Message received.

This year he decided he didn't want to wrestle again.  Been there.  Done that.  Anyone interested in a pair of barely worn wrestling boots?

Late this summer, Jared decided that he wanted to be more social.  He posted questions online asking friends how he goes about doing that.  He wanted advice.  He decided he needed some new things in his wardrobe.  We had to go shopping.  With that conscious decision, he hugs girls at school and high fives the guys.  He comes home exhausted at the end of the day, but he's trying.

Math and Science are challenges.  He's a Humanities guy.  He writes a saga in notebooks - 300 page notebooks.  He's completed about 7 volumes.  He illustrates, originally in a sketchbook and now on a tablet for the computer.  He's on his second tablet and in a couple of weeks will get his third and larger tablet.

Stress can still get to him.  He's back on anti anxiety meds for the first time in two years, but it's been a crazy first semester with moving him from classes that he never should have been in.  He still has stimming behaviors, but don't we all really?

The important thing is that he is still moving forward.  He is still trying.  He is attempting to engage. He sees that his view of life is different from the view of his peers.  He  plays the trumpet.  He sings in the choir.  He draws and draws and when he's not doing that he writes and writes.

He's living.  He's doing good stuff.  We still go day by day.  A bad day can happen, but the morning brings a new day and a new chance.

He will be 16 this year.  We've discussed a learner's license.  He says he doesn't trust himself in a car. I asked about a car in a parking lot.  He said he'd think about it.

We are moving along.

Saturday, August 9, 2014

When Did We Start to Lose Him?

MamaDeb note:  this was a post I started a year ago and never pressed "publish".  So now I have.  

That is a question "they" ask in all the interviews and such that go on as you try to get a diagnosis for your little boy.

You think and try to remember.  When did I notice something different?  How old was he? What was that significant change?

In all the interviews I had, I could never pinpoint the change.  Jared was always Jared.

Until the last few months........

He likes to keep his head phones in his ears - typically with music playing - so he doesn't have to talk to people.

He has developed a strategy of using "conversation-ending phrases", as he likes to call them.  Again, cut a conversation short so he doesn't have to keep on talking to people.

He doesn't like touch.  No hand shakes.  No hugs.  No pat on the back.  No touch.  I hug him anyway.  I warn him first.  And when he groans and says, "you know I don't like to be touched."  I kindly let him know that he must at least hug his mother.  He does it.

Perhaps I should feel guilty that I do that, but I don't.

A couple of weeks ago, Jared went to his first dance.  I sat in the van in the parking lot.  He could come out any time he wanted, but I thought he should go see what all the fuss was about.

He started out like most kids new to a dance would be - glued to the wall.  After a while some of the girls he knew and trusted came over and dragged him in.

It was fun.  It was overwhelming.  He was out of breath, sweaty, and nauseous by the end.  But he had fun and for some reason might go to another dance, though he doesn't know why because there are so many kids and you slow dance with girls and the whole scenario feels chaotic.  The fact that he wants to, is great.

So maybe there are times when I will have trouble finding him, but he's still in there.

Finding the Humor

Sometimes Jared will do or say something and he will pause and say, "That was the autism, wasn't it?"  Then we laugh.

Monday, October 1, 2012

I think I'm Moving

This blog was created especially for Jared.  I found his life on our family blog was consuming the whole thing.  I have 3 other children with stories.

Lately I've struggled with that notion.  I've said here that Jared is so much more than the Autism diagnosis.  I've decided to continue with his stories on our family blog for a while.

Perhaps I will return to this blog.  I don't know.  In the meantime, ALL that Jared is will be recorded with his family's stories.