Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Feelings of a Mom

I've meant to blog recently, but I've been preoccupied. I fractured my wrist. It tends to throw life off a bit.

I've spent time hovering between feeling so great for Jared and how far he has come and how difficult and frustrating his life can still be. I see how he is handling himself in certain situations so well. I see how hard life gets when the people you want to be friends with do not want to be friends with you and are not always nice about it and how the middle school years will not always be kind.

I don't know how to balance my desires to protect him and his need to learn from experiences like his brothers. I don't want him to lose the resiliency that has gotten him this far.

It's a struggle not to dislike kids who make Jared's life harder and to understand that most of them don't know better or know how to handle interactions with him. As a mom you want the whole world to love your babies as much as you do. That doesn't happen.

So for every victory I celebrate, knowing that achievement was hard earned. Then I go back to worry. Worry that I can't save him all the time. Worry that he'll get angry about his lot in life. Worry that some one will hurt him. Then with that worry I get up and fight for him so that maybe one day I won't have to worry so much.

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

The Rally

Cub Car Rally night. It's a big night for them Cubs. It's the showcasing of all the work the boys and probably mostly their dads have done to prepare for this big event. Jared's no different. This is his last rally and he was EX-cited!!!!
Many kids who are totally in it for the win factor would probably get dear old dad to help them create something with some aerodynamics involved. Jared was TOTALLY in it for the win factor (though I did have a serious talk about sportsmanship and how that works, which led to the "I know, I know, like last year," response, which led to my crossing my fingers that he wouldn't be kicking and screaming by the middle of the rally). The secret to his success????? A warthog vehicle from Halo (the video game, for those scratching their heads).

Sean spent a good while getting this ready for the paint shop. I think Jared did a great job on the camouflage paint job. Just to get into the mood of things, I crocheted a camo hat for myself.
Jared came in 2nd place for the evening. He did great. He stressed a couple of times, but was easily redirected. He was leaping everywhere, but didn't knock anyone out. He was the loudest, but we let him. All the boys were a little crazy; Jared just takes his to a higher level.

His Cub Car career is now behind him. The Warthog can be retired (unless we participate in the city-wide rally) and a gun glued to the top of it. One more thing to remind me he is growing up.