Saturday, August 9, 2014

When Did We Start to Lose Him?

MamaDeb note:  this was a post I started a year ago and never pressed "publish".  So now I have.  

That is a question "they" ask in all the interviews and such that go on as you try to get a diagnosis for your little boy.

You think and try to remember.  When did I notice something different?  How old was he? What was that significant change?

In all the interviews I had, I could never pinpoint the change.  Jared was always Jared.

Until the last few months........

He likes to keep his head phones in his ears - typically with music playing - so he doesn't have to talk to people.

He has developed a strategy of using "conversation-ending phrases", as he likes to call them.  Again, cut a conversation short so he doesn't have to keep on talking to people.

He doesn't like touch.  No hand shakes.  No hugs.  No pat on the back.  No touch.  I hug him anyway.  I warn him first.  And when he groans and says, "you know I don't like to be touched."  I kindly let him know that he must at least hug his mother.  He does it.

Perhaps I should feel guilty that I do that, but I don't.

A couple of weeks ago, Jared went to his first dance.  I sat in the van in the parking lot.  He could come out any time he wanted, but I thought he should go see what all the fuss was about.

He started out like most kids new to a dance would be - glued to the wall.  After a while some of the girls he knew and trusted came over and dragged him in.

It was fun.  It was overwhelming.  He was out of breath, sweaty, and nauseous by the end.  But he had fun and for some reason might go to another dance, though he doesn't know why because there are so many kids and you slow dance with girls and the whole scenario feels chaotic.  The fact that he wants to, is great.

So maybe there are times when I will have trouble finding him, but he's still in there.

Finding the Humor

Sometimes Jared will do or say something and he will pause and say, "That was the autism, wasn't it?"  Then we laugh.