Thursday, January 1, 2015

Things Always Evolve

Back in August, I posted something I left in draft mode for about a year.  Some of the things that came after are worth noting.

I don't know who looks at this blog and why.  I don't always know if I should document Jared's  life in this way.  If it benefits anyone, great.

Jared did not like being touched in 2013.  He survived and thrived at youth dances.  He would dance with girls.  Slow dances were fine.

He also came home that fall and announced he wanted to join the wrestling team......because there is no physical contact there.  He didn't want to compete, but he wanted to learn to wrestle.  I freaked out behind his back for a bit, but we said yes in the end.  He worked so hard.  He trained the same as all the others.  He was in the best shape he'd ever been in.

I asked him why he didn't mind the wrestling or the dancing when he was required to have physical contact.  His reply?  "Mom, there's a purpose in it.  I can touch other people if there's a purpose."  So I asked him why he didn't like hugging me.  "Mom, there's no purpose in that."

Message received.

This year he decided he didn't want to wrestle again.  Been there.  Done that.  Anyone interested in a pair of barely worn wrestling boots?

Late this summer, Jared decided that he wanted to be more social.  He posted questions online asking friends how he goes about doing that.  He wanted advice.  He decided he needed some new things in his wardrobe.  We had to go shopping.  With that conscious decision, he hugs girls at school and high fives the guys.  He comes home exhausted at the end of the day, but he's trying.

Math and Science are challenges.  He's a Humanities guy.  He writes a saga in notebooks - 300 page notebooks.  He's completed about 7 volumes.  He illustrates, originally in a sketchbook and now on a tablet for the computer.  He's on his second tablet and in a couple of weeks will get his third and larger tablet.

Stress can still get to him.  He's back on anti anxiety meds for the first time in two years, but it's been a crazy first semester with moving him from classes that he never should have been in.  He still has stimming behaviors, but don't we all really?

The important thing is that he is still moving forward.  He is still trying.  He is attempting to engage. He sees that his view of life is different from the view of his peers.  He  plays the trumpet.  He sings in the choir.  He draws and draws and when he's not doing that he writes and writes.

He's living.  He's doing good stuff.  We still go day by day.  A bad day can happen, but the morning brings a new day and a new chance.

He will be 16 this year.  We've discussed a learner's license.  He says he doesn't trust himself in a car. I asked about a car in a parking lot.  He said he'd think about it.

We are moving along.

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